Awareness

Initially I was going to preface this entry with an excuse as to why I did not post yesterday.  Probably something along the lines of not having enough time or that I just forgot (which would be understandable considering my imminent genetic fate), but the reality of this situation was that I was feeling lethargic (aka lazy) and I just blew it off.  If you take issue with my lack of motivation yesterday...FUCK OFF!  I would also like to add that sometimes (as confounded as my compatriots might be to hear me declare) I just don't have shit to say.  Having now exerted precious time and energy into explaining something for which I had no desire to defend, let us push on to more meaningful topics of discussion.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for raising money to "Save the TaTa's" or what ever other trite bumper sticker saying has been cleverly crafted to drive this point home (at the expense of gender equality...lol). Hey, I love tits. Breasts (on females) are probably the second most fun thing in the world right behind....video games (Sarcasm!!! Just choose the next "v" word that pops into your head...ok, now we're on the same page).

My quandary lies in the inconvenient truth that not unlike many adolescent teens, we have focused so hard on the boobs, that we have forget about everything else. Off the cuff, right now, can any of you name aloud the color of the pancreatic cancer awareness ribbon? How about the colon cancer awareness ribbon? Just like I thought!  Better yet, to all the men out there, can any one of you tell me the color for TESTICULAR CANCER awareness (and no, it's not blue assholes)? We have become so engrossed in the chesticles, that we have forgotten all about BALL CANCER! Good luck trying to get excited about those spectacular sweater puppies with a cashed out changed purse (or from a coffin). I want to know where the hell I can buy me a ball cancer ribbon? If I set up a website selling these alleged ball cancer banners, would anyone even buy them.  If the ribbons were to gain popularity, would I be in for a house-call from the Susan G. Komen pink mafia?

After a bit of research I was able to uncover the official ball cancer ribbon color (for those of you that even give a shit).  The color is "orchid". That right, I said ORCHID. It's a fucking FLOWER!!! Some asshole, probably nutless at the time, sat around thinking "What color would best represent a cancer that only affects men..." and he said to himself, "Ah yes, Orchid" the color of a pansy ass goddamn flower. You know what Orchid is asshole (this is me yelling at the guy who chose this), Orchid is just another way of saying PINK, and if you think that we men are going to share a color with those breast cancer FAME WHORES then you got another thing coming friend. This is the same organization that partnered up with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Fucking Chicken) for a campaign so infamously branded "Buckets for the Cure". When I caught wind of this impending iceberg of hypocrisy, I almost stopped looking at the playboy I was ogling long enough to respond. Can somebody please tell me how a charity who's goal is BREAST HEALTH, could team up with a company who's goal is to sell the most UNHEALTHY BREASTS on the planet? Am I the only one finding this a bit puzzling?  The bottom line here is, we want our own color.  No more orchid. No more pink! We want awareness too. Ball Cancer Awareness! And one more thing people, it's not really awareness anymore if everybody knows about it!!!

--BK