Blow it Out Your Ass!!!

Yeah, I didn't post in 2012, I was busy...but in 2013 we have much more pressing issues.......allow me to elaborate. How would it strike you if I were to sneeze directly into your favorite dish, an then, with out hesitation, present this contaminated culinary concoction so non-chalantly as though you would have no objection to this repugnant gesture. You would be pissed, and rightfully so. With that being said, can somebody please tell me why the fuck, in this day in age, are we still blowing out birthday candles.  Seriously people!!! How many times have you gone to some old bags birthday and watched this decrepit fucker nearly blow his dentures all over the goddamn cake trying to blow out all 81 candles, meanwhile drenching your soon to be sliced and served sugary delight with DEATH BREATH and decades old speckles of saliva. Year after year, and party after party we let this shit go down. Instead of clapping and congratulating this inconsiderate bastard, next time they hand you this editable "Fuck You", perhaps a "thanks, but, no thanks" is in order. Think about it, haven't we all been to little 3 year old Johnny's party, where after a 45-minute coughing fit and a reassurance from his mother that he's "not contagious anymore", we watch this little human-disease-factory blow all over an ice cream cake and serve it to us on what might as well be a petri dish. How have we let this slide for so many generations??? The cycle must be broken. We must take a stand against the mindless acceptance of this cultural stink-palm.  I don't stick my hand up my ass and shake your hand, so please don't blow all over my food and call it kosher you nasty motherfuckers.  Thats all....thank you.